Life hasn’t been all hard work, though. I was invited to run a five-day training course for some of our recently-promoted graduates, based in Alicante, Spain. Since I only had a week of vacation, there was no way I could turn down a week in the sun.

There were over 400 participants involved in the training, and we managed to take over the entire hotel. The weather was great, with temperatures in the high twenties and low thirties, warm water in the pool and lots of sunshine. My biggest regret was not bringing sunscreen – even though my time outside was limited (as I was preparing classes), I still managed to find enough time in the sun to burn myself. I spent the rest of the trip doing my impression of a lobster.

Delegates playing ping-pong by the pool

Relaxing by the pool

Cruising on a dolphin…

Flying fish!

Playing in the pool

They really laid on a lot for the guys. They had chartered a plane from Paris for all the French delegates, and there was a real party atmosphere as we headed to Alicante. On the second night, they rented an amusement park exclusively for us. On the third day, they brought in all sorts of games around the pool for a team-building afternoon. My two highlights of that day: first, the rest of my team-mates assuming I was a recent graduate (haven’t felt quite that young since I was carded at a bar in the US) and the second, someone coming up and complimenting me on my good English (I was the only native speaker involved in the training!)

The class itself was a lot of fun to run – I have run similar classes before so didn’t have to do much preparation. The delegates do most of the work themselves, and present back on the final day (after spending all night in a nightclub we rented for their exclusive use. Many didn’t get back until 6am, but they still managed to be up and working at 8am despite being told they weren’t required to start until 10h30! That’s a pretty dedicated group.) Here are a few pictures of them giving their presentations…

Students presenting their case studies

Students presenting their case studies

Students presenting their case studies

Students presenting their case studies

Students presenting their case studies

Students presenting their case studies

Students presenting their case studies

Students presenting their case studies

Students presenting their case studies

Students presenting their case studies

Students presenting their case studies

And here are a few team shots as we presented the awards…

The most important moment of the week – the winning scores are revealed!

Student team

Student team

Student team

Student team

Student team

It’s been a couple of weeks since I have updated my blog, but that is mostly down to constant travel. I was in Switzerland for a few days, then Barcelona, then to Lisbon for a wedding, then back to Barcelona for a few days, and I am now finally back in Paris. It looks like I will actually get a full week in Paris this week (unless I have to go to London for the day on Friday – the outlook is 50/50 right now) followed by a week in the south of France. My first holiday in a year, and one that I am really looking forward to!

Darren and Lina’s wedding in Lisbon was fantastic – lots of entertainment, good food, and beautiful weather. We even got a more scenic tour of the Portuguese countryside than we anticipated, thanks to the bus driver’s detour when he couldn’t find the house.

Aude can’t resist a guy with a cleaver

What is it with Matthew and pigs?

Lina walks up the aisle

Darren and Lina exchange rings

The newly married couple walks down the aisle

Outside the chapel, getting ready to throw her confetti…

Lina’s mother shares a laugh

Darren and Lina, under a shower of flower petals, as they leave the chapel

Aude and Mascha

These two didn’t say much…

Simon, Jill and Aude

Darren catches his breath

Simon and Jill

Matthew and Aude

Here comes trouble!

Aude

Tables decorations

More table decorations

Wine bottles, lined up and ready to go!

Another table decoration

Best man

Lots of little ones around!

Dance lessons before dinner

Darren and Lina show us how it’s done

Nice glasses, mate.

Portuguese cheeses after dinner

Lina and Darren share a secret

Happy bride

My twin

Lina takes the lead dancing

Darren and Lina strut their stuff

This goes beyond Dirty dancing — this is downright Dangerous dancing

Roar!

You really shouldn’t mix alcohol and cigarettes.

Turns out there isn’t really much to photograph around Geneva. Oh well, here is some evidence that I was there…

Boats on the harbour in downtown Geneva

The Geneva skyline

The Geneva Jet d’Eau fountain

A statue in the park

I spent Monday through Wednesday in Barcelona, or more accurately, outside Barcelona. The factory is just beside the airport and the hotel was in Gava, directly on the beach but a fair way outside the city centre.

Looking out onto the pool from my room. Unfortunately, cold weather and rain plus long working days means that this was as close as I would get to going for a dip…

One of the nicer hotel rooms I have been in on this project…

One of the nicer hotel rooms I have been in on this project…

Free minibar. The sweetest words a travelling consultant can hear. Is there any reason not to love this hotel? (For the record, the minibar contained 3 bottles of soda, 4 bottles of water, and a 25ml bottle of beer. Before anyone gets any ideas…)

This was my first trip to Barcelona, but I didn’t get to see much of the city. I saw quite a lot of the airport (although not the airline lounge, despite being entitled access I was banned because my codeshare was apparently not eligible). My experiences flying with Iberia confirmed my worst fears: the airlines of Latin countries are generally to be avoided. Tiny seats, surly service, and not even a free glass of water. Not exactly what I expect when I’ve paid nearly EUR600 for a ticket.

I did get to see a lot of Barcelona that was not on the tourist track, however. The taxi driver did not know where the hotel was, so we relied on GPS. And GPS decided to take us on a tour of some of the grottier areas of Barcelona. And right through the middle of the trucker’s strike.

The factory itself was interesting, although I have not had a tour of the production facilities yet. The overwhelming smell when I was there was of fruit flavouring, cloying and sticky-sweet. Apparently this isn’t too bad – when they produce mint products, the smell is unbearable. Remind me to give mint day a miss.

We had some great tapas at a restaurant near the hotel, washed back with a good bottle of Rioja. I was pleasantly surprised after coming from Switzerland – I had to ask the waiter if the wine was priced by the glass or by the bottle, because a bottle of wine in Spain was roughly the same price as a small glass in Switzerland.

It managed to rain for nearly the entire trip. Not quite what I had expected from sunny Spain. Overall, my first trip to Barcelona wasn’t an overwhelming success. Maybe next time will be better.

After a long day of flying from the UK, with a very early start, Aude finally arrived in Istanbul early Friday evening. We headed down to Baghdad Street, on the Asian side, for a quick dinner of kebabs. Our cab driver was the worst that I’ve encountered in Istanbul – and that’s saying a lot. In the end, we got out and walked, fearing for both our lives and our stomachs if we continued on in the taxi.

I don’t know where this myth started about the Turks having great food. Sure, you can get your choice of lamb or chicken grilled to perfection at most places. But that’s about it for variety. Maybe a salad or some fish, grilled without any sauce. For the record, if I never eat Turkish food again, it will be too soon. The diet is one part of this country I certainly won’t miss. The Turkish have one of the highest smoking rates in Europe – nearly 90% of adults here smoke. And they have a correspondingly low life expectancy. But I suspect that their early death has nothing to do with their smoking – they smoke so they don’t have to eat their rubbish food, and eventually they face their millionth kebab and just give up the will to live.

Never mind. Aude had brought some champagne with her, so we had a few glasses and called it an early night back at the hotel.

Saturday morning, I hired a car and driver to spend the day with us. I did the same thing when I was in Sydney and Bangkok, and I remain convinced that this is the best way to see any city if you’re short on time. Our chauffeur whisked us off to the European side of Istanbul (via ferry, which was a nice way to get our first views of the old city) and then from one place to another, no waiting, no confusion, no language difficulties, and most importantly, no hassle. He even recommended a great fish restaurant for us at lunch. We had the terrace to ourselves, and had a great time watching the world go by.

Aude did a great job setting out our itinerary (I’m usually useless at things like this, and happily handed over the guide book and delegated all responsibility for planning our day, my role having ended at booking the car.) We took in all the big sights in the old city – the Topkapi Palace, the Aya Sofya, the Grand Bazaar, and the Egyptian Spice market. It was a great day out, and the weather stayed absolutely perfect for us.

I took loads of photos, but I’ve chosen a small handful for this website. I’ll stick the rest up later when I finally have some time.

Matt and Aude on the ferry from the Asian side of Istanbul to the European side

A group of Muslim women visiting the Topkapi Palace

There are cats everywhere in Istanbul. Here’s one of the little guys peering out of a fountain at the Palace.

Matthew standing outside the entrace to the kitchen at the Topkapi Palace.

The entrance to the inner courtyard at the Topkapi Palace.

Aude in the gardens of the Topkapi Palace, enjoying the perfect weather on a November morning.

Aude on the stairs in the gardens at the Topkapi Palace.

A view of the Asian side of Istanbul

One of the mosaic doorways at the Topkapi Palace

Lunch in an Istanbul restaurant

Fresh fish!

Aude outside the Aya Sofya

Aya Sofya

Aya Sofya. Clearly the signs didn’t apply to the cats.

Inside Aya Sofya

Inside Aya Sofya

The Blue Mosque

The Blue Mosque

Aya Sofya, looking fantastic in the setting sun

A balloon seller

The Grand Bazaar

Gold sellers at the Grand Bazaar

The Egyptian spice market

Uh oh! Aude needs to be on the lookout for counterfeit products — they’re everywhere!

Our first night out in Istanbul was a bit of a mixed bag, as we clearly struggled with both language difficulties and cultural norms. Based on the recommendation of the concierge at the hotel, we headed down to the harbour to find a restaurant. We didn’t have a specific place in mind, but we were told that there were plenty of good places and that we’d find one if we simply walked around the area.

After a few minutes of walking around, found a place that looked okay. There was a rather formidable woman in the window rolling dough and cooking something, and the place looked busy enough, so we went in.

Enticing us into a restaurant, Turkish-style

Our first struggle was ordering a few beers. We ordered beers, and they were brought out for us – but they were weak and warm. After using our best sign language to indicate that we’d prefer cold beer, we were presented with a bucket of ice cubes! At this point, we sort of gave up on the beer idea and decided to order some wine as well. After considerable misunderstanding, the guests at the next table kindly stepped in and explained that the restaurant was Muslim and therefore didn’t serve any alcohol – which explained why our (apparently non-alcoholic) beer tasted so terrible. We reverted to tea.

Matt and Swami tuck into a Turkish feast

The second problem was trying to explain that our colleague, Swami, was a vegetarian. The concept of a vegetarian is apparently unheard of in Turkey. After explaining politely to the waiter that ‘chicken’ wasn’t really a vegetarian option, we finally ended up ordering something from the big woman in the window – as best we can tell, it was some sort of bread with cheese and spinach. It wasn’t entirely successful, and Swami supplemented his dinner with a few bowls of peanuts at the bar we found afterwards.

Swami in the bar, enjoying a vegetarian diet of peanuts and beer…

We were drawn into the bar by the live music – which seemed like a good idea at the time. In fact, once you’ve heard the millionth song played on the lute with a dodgy Turkish singer, you’re about ready to shoot yourself. He kept turning to us and apparently asking for our requests, but as my Turkish is a little rusty, we weren’t able to comply. He seemed pretty disappointed that we weren’t singing along.

The taxi from hell…

Our taxi ride back to the hotel was a little hair-raising, even by Turkish standards. I suspect we should have been tipped off by the sticker on the side of the cab. Hanging from the rear-view mirror was a shark’s tooth, which indicates slightly more risk-taking behaviour on the part of the taxi driver than, say, a crucifix. We made it back in one piece, but we were definitely more ‘shaken’ than ‘stirred’.

The hotel we’re staying at is brand new, but quality control doesn’t seem to have factored into the equation. Everything is falling apart despite its newness. The light switches are all wonky. The tap on the sink doesn’t work property. The tap on the shower came off the wall when I tried to turn it on. The air conditioning in the conference room doesn’t work. And the lights seem to go on and off at random intervals, plunging our conference room into darkness. At least it adds some excitement to the day.

Finally, a moment of light relief. Realise, of course, that I don’t normally use a bidet. And that I didn’t really intend to use a bidet. But curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to see how the combined toilet / bidet worked. Fast forward to a jet of water shooting out across the bathroom and out into the hallway and frantic mopping up with towels. I’ll stick to toilet paper, thanks.